Sorry peeps, no “Where In Hawaii” this week. I figgah I go try and mix things up a bit once in a while. 8)
So some of you may know about this funny piece called “38 Problems Only People From Hawaii Will Understand” that was recently posted on Buzzfeed by Community Contributor Matthew Dekneef. It has gone fairly viral and for good reason. Buggah is funny.
But for those who haven’t seen it yet (and even for those who have), I thought I’d try to see if we can add to the list in the comment area below. First da list…
There are some days where it’s so cold you just have to put on a shirt. – It’s 70° degrees! I’m gonna get frostbite!!!”
Always forgetting to use your kama`aina discount. – I mean, do places locals really go even take kama`aina discounts?
You don’t know who your cousins are and who your actual cousins are. – Everyone’s your cousin! This, of course, includes all your aunties. Your bus driver. Your bank teller. Your next door neighbor’s neighbor’s neighbor. Everyone’s your aunty!
That overwhelming urge to defend the miracle that is SPAM. – Blasphemy! Spam musubis are a religion.
Giving/getting directions is always an adventure. – “Okay, you wanna go mauka, and when you get to the third mango tree make a left, you’ll see one waterfall on your right hand side, just keep going. When you get to the menehune at the U-turn, he’ll ask you three questions…”
When shipping costs more than the total cost of the item you’re shipping.
Baked vs. steamed (manapua). – You can’t make me decide.
Shave ice vs. your indecisiveness. – SERIOUSLY YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DECIDE.
If it doesn’t have rice, then it’s not a real meal. – These are the rules.
When you haven’t been to the beach since yesterday…
…and then can’t decide which beach to go to. – Okay, fine, take it back… we got 99 problems and a beach ain’t one.
That said, it is kind of hard to enjoy all of Hawaii’s natural breathtaking beauty… – …when you’re trapped in (traffic) all day. Because Honolulu has the second worst traffic in the country, just after L.A. The average driver here wastes 50 hours in gridlock a year. That’s over a week’s worth of surfing.
Not to mention gas already costs an arm and a leg and your first-born keiki.
When you can enter to win a free, 7-day, all expenses paid, VIP, luxury vacation for two to……………………………………………………………..Hawaii.
It can be off the air everywhere else, but here every week is “Shark Week”.
When you have to call Leavitt, Yamane & Soldner for something…
There’s no civilized way to eat a malasada… …or a coco puff. – Don’t even try. It’s physically and emotionally impossible!
Anyone dressed in head-to-toe Jeans Warehouse. – This isn’t just a problem. It’s a fashion emergency!
The name of this product: BotoLift. – So, wait, wait, wait, wait… You put this where?!?!
When one of these melts in your pocket (white rabbit candy).
That one Nicki Minaj verse. Because you can’t be “in the islands of Waikiki,” Nicki.
Your throat will start tightening up and you’ll begin salivating in 3, 2, 1… (lihing mui)
These stairs are safe, right? (stairway to heaven)
That Google Maps doesn’t have an “Avoid Potholes” option. – Because sometimes there’s a road in our potholes.
Your favorite band will NEVER tour here. Ever. – Just accept it.
When Obama won the presidency, you had to force yourself to be happy for someone from Punahou for the first time ever. – It was a struggle.
You’re not sure who to trust: Dan Cooke or Guy Hagi? – Not that it really matters… It’s not like the weather ever really changes anyway.
This thing called “Hawaiian” pizza. – Are we still calling it that? Okay, just checking…
You’ve gotten into serious debates over which Zippy’s is the best Zippy’s. – Foolproof BFF Test: If they don’t know your Zippy’s order by heart, then they are NOT your BFF. No exceptions!
Your legit ID always gets a harder look on the mainland. – Mahalo, “Superbad”.
This question on Yahoo! Answers (Do they have Internet in Hawaii?). And let’s not forget the classics like, “Do you still live in grass shacks?” and “What about electricity?” FUN FACT: ‘Iolani Palace had electricity and telephones before the White House did! Also, yes, you can use U.S. currency here, and no, you don’t need your U.S. passport and power adaptors when you visit.
When someone uses “Hawaiian” the same way they’d use “Californian” or “New Yorker”. – Yeah, that’s not going to work… BECAUSE HAWAIIAN IS A RACE.
When someone corrects the way you pronounce “karaoke” and “karate”. – Sigh, we’re just saying it right.
Or you’re told you pronounce “Hawai`i” funny. – Again, not “funny,” just right. We live here. WE WOULD KNOW.
But wait, honestly, though – do we really have an accent? – Apparently we do say some words like “button” and “candy” kind of weird or something?
Even though they don’t have laces, leaving anybody’s house is going to take an extra minute. – And for the last time…
THEY’RE CALLED SLIPPERS.
However, the biggest problem is taking it all for granted because… Lucky We Live Hawaii! Chee hoo!
Got any to add? Post it in the comment area below. Here’s mine to start:
* Your idea of an Aloha shirt is much different than mine!
Recently, I saw an old episode of “The Office” when “Ryan started the fire.” Outside, the workers were playing Desert Island and I thought to myself, “Eh! That’s a good Fave Five list yeah!?” So here ya go!
Keep in mind that these are the top 5 movies you can’t live without and would have to watch for the rest of your life if you were stranded on a desert island… no pressha! 😉 Stuck? Here’s some help!
All box sets of “The Office“ – I know, I’m kinda cheating on this one cause there’s more than one DVD, but too bad! I loooooove this show!
i never got stoned, but my friend did when she was in high school… she did it that one time and never again since. five years later, i’m pregnant at her house and dying for snack. and i find brownies she made. knowing she hasn’t done weed in YEARS, i still was ultra paranoid to eat them, more so because i was pregnant and didn’t want to have stoner baby. i spent 20 minutes trying to wake her up to find out if the brownies had weed in them. she thought i was crazy and ON WEED myself to even believe that she would make those kinds of brownies. i thought she was on weed b/c it took me 20 minutes to get a straight answer out of her. it got to a point where i was yelling, “is there weed in the brownies!!! i’m hungry for a snack but i don’t want to get high!!!” maybe that’s lame, but it was hilarious to me.
She joins JMAW and Miss Pris as the 3rd winner to these oh so exciting giveaways:
Well, I’m back at it again. Doing the 3rd FREE Movie Pass Giveaway for all y’all. From the guys who brought you Superbad, it’s Pineapple Express, starring Seth Rogan and James Franco.
Since Pineapple Express is a stoner movie (which I don’t condone *grin*), how about posting your favorite stoner story below? (it doesn’t necessarily have to be about you! ;P ) The best one wins the pass (good for two)! If you don’t have a stoner story, just post why you wanna see the movie.
Da Details: WHO: You and a homey WHAT: FREE Advance Screening Movie Pass (good for two) to Pineapple Express WHEN: Monday, August 4, 2008 at 7:30PM (opens to the public on August 5) WHERE: Ward Theaters 16 – 1044 Auahi Street, Honolulu WHY: Cause you read my blog brah! HOW: 1) Post your favorite stoner story or 2) why you want to see this movie. Best one wins!
Ed’s Easy Rules:
I will pick da lucky buggah by next week Friday (08/01) or earlier.
Once the winner is selected, I’ll contact you via email so we can coordinate a time and place to give you the pass, OR, if it’s easier, I can leave it here (at Oceanic) for you to pick up (during normal business hours).
Please be sure you are actually able to attend (or know someone who can) because I’d hate to pick the winner, only to find out that you can’t make it.
Acceptance of the pass means you will not hold me or Oceanic Time Warner Cable liable for anything whatsoever.
The Official Rules (fine print on the pass itself):
Please arrive early as seating is limited and on a first-come, first served basis. This pass does not guarantee admission, is non-transferable and is not redeemable for cash. Screening is overbooked to ensure capacity. This pass is the property of Columbia Pictures who reserves the right to admit or refuse access to the theater at the discretion of an authorized representative. No one will be admitted after the screening begins.
This screening will be monitored for unauthorized recording. By attending this screening, you consent to surveillance by security personnel. By attending, you agree not to bring any recording device (including certain types of mobile phones which have recording capability) into the theater. By attending, you also consent to physical search of your belongings and person for recording devices. If you attempt to enter with a recording device, you will be denied admission. If you attempt to use a recording device, you consent to your immediate removal from the theater and forfeiture of the device and its contents. Unauthorized recordings will be reported to law enforcement and may subject you to criminal and civil liability.
About the Movie:
Lazy stoner Dale Denton (Seth Rogan) has only one reason to visit his equally lazy dealer Saul Silver (James Franco): to purchase weed, specifically, a rare new strain called Pineapple Express. But when Dale becomes the only witness to a murder by a crooked cop (Rosie Perez) and the city’s most dangerous drug lord (Gary Cole), he panics and dumps his roach of Pineapple Express at the scene. Dale now has another reason to visit Saul: to find out if the weed is so rare that it can be traced back to him. And it is. As Dale and Saul run for their lives, they quickly discover that they’re not suffering from weed-fueled paranoia; incredibly, the bad guys really are hot on their trail and trying to figure out the fastest way to kill them both. All aboard the Pineapple Express.
World Wide Ed 