Posts Tagged ‘coach’

Bag Ladies

September 13, 2008

In a convo with a couple of lady friends at work the other day, the topic of shopping bags came up. As I rolled my eyes, sighed, and looked at my watch a few dozen times, they gossiped away on the intricacies of these bags. Pshaw, as if there were any intricacies to talk about. Ain’t it just about holding thangs? They edumacated this apparently clueless boy…

It all started when Erin brought 3 parasols (for me to take home to the woman) in a larger than life Sephora bag. I swear it was big enough for 20 parasols. Honestly, for a second there, I thought she was just trying to embarrass me because it was so ridiculously HUGE. I soon realized that it wasn’t a joke and that I should’ve been grateful to her for sacrificing one of her favorite bags for/on me.

One of the many... *sigh*
One of the many… *sigh*

Diane chimed in, “Yeah, don’t you know how important bags are?”

As they continued to gossip about bags and make their rather odd fetishes for them apparent, I wondered off in my own head as their voices turned into Charlie Brown’s teacher.

Suddenly, it hit me. This HAS to be a blog post. I’ve gotsta put this to a vote to all y’all to see if these two women are just crazy bag ladies or if I’m just an oblivious guy.

I mean the lady saves and organizes bags at our crib, and, I guess, now that I think about it, mamasan saves bags she gets from Japan, so there could be something to it, but really, isn’t a bag just a bag?

Erin and Diane continued… even emphasizing the importance of the handle (material, length, etc.), and how big and how fashionable the bag itself was. If one was “ugly,” it would go right inside the “prettier” (and I quote) bag. *rolling eyes*

If there really was some “trufe” to this, and I were in charge of marketing for a store, you can bet I would pimp out our line of bags to encourage more foot traffic. The handle would be covered with moisturizing lotion, made of soft, furry velvet and long enough for some over-the-shoulder action. The bag itself would be large (and in charge) and would be covered in glittery rhinestones or sparkly diamonds. That’s right, other stores… Don’t hate! Inside, there would be multiple pouches for phones, makeup stuffs, keys, and those other mysterious things you hold, and to top it all off, there will be Big LVs or Cs all ova the outside. Shmall kine copyright infringement, but what the h*ll. 😛

But why stop there? I’ve already got the “bag lady” market cornered! I would next go for the man bag population, son! This would bring an entirely new demographic into to my awesome store. These disposable murses would have rough leather or rope/lasso handles, connected to weighted dumbbells. Inside, there’d be an area to spit our tobacco and store our goatee grooming comb. There’d be a butterfly knife pocket for good measure. On the outside, there’d be imagery like a skull and crossbones or some athlete or sports car. And to top it off, there’d be real chest hair glued on the back. Oh yeah!


OK, maybe not. Go ahead, we’ll let you ladies have the bag market. I’ll be perfectly fine if a store gave me a garbage bag to lug my stuff home in. As long as da buggah holds up ’til I get home. Maybe I’ll keep that one until Erin or Diane needs something from me… 😉

Da Bag Ladies Erin and Diane
Da Bag Ladies Erin and Diane

Talk to me!
* Are you a bag lady? Why?
* Is your woman a bag lady?
* Are you a bag man? Why?
* Name the stores that have your favorite bags! I know ya got um! 🙂