38 Problems Only People From Hawaii Will Understand

Rice Fest countdown = 11 days! 8)

Sorry peeps, no “Where In Hawaii” this week. I figgah I go try and mix things up a bit once in a while. 8)

So some of you may know about this funny piece called “38 Problems Only People From Hawaii Will Understand” that was recently posted on Buzzfeed by Community Contributor Matthew Dekneef. It has gone fairly viral and for good reason. Buggah is funny.

But for those who haven’t seen it yet (and even for those who have), I thought I’d try to see if we can add to the list in the comment area below. First da list…

1. There are some days where it’s so cold you just have to put on a shirt. – It’s 70° degrees! I’m gonna get frostbite!!!”
2. Always forgetting to use your kama`aina discount. – I mean, do places locals really go even take kama`aina discounts?
3. You don’t know who your cousins are and who your actual cousins are. – Everyone’s your cousin! This, of course, includes all your aunties. Your bus driver. Your bank teller. Your next door neighbor’s neighbor’s neighbor. Everyone’s your aunty!
4. That overwhelming urge to defend the miracle that is SPAM. – Blasphemy! Spam musubis are a religion.
5. Giving/getting directions is always an adventure. – “Okay, you wanna go mauka, and when you get to the third mango tree make a left, you’ll see one waterfall on your right hand side, just keep going. When you get to the menehune at the U-turn, he’ll ask you three questions…”
6. When shipping costs more than the total cost of the item you’re shipping.
7. Baked vs. steamed (manapua). – You can’t make me decide.
8. Shave ice vs. your indecisiveness. – SERIOUSLY YOU CAN’T MAKE ME DECIDE.
9. If it doesn’t have rice, then it’s not a real meal. – These are the rules.
10. When you haven’t been to the beach since yesterday…
11. …and then can’t decide which beach to go to. – Okay, fine, take it back… we got 99 problems and a beach ain’t one.
12. That said, it is kind of hard to enjoy all of Hawaii’s natural breathtaking beauty… – …when you’re trapped in (traffic) all day. Because Honolulu has the second worst traffic in the country, just after L.A. The average driver here wastes 50 hours in gridlock a year. That’s over a week’s worth of surfing.
13. Not to mention gas already costs an arm and a leg and your first-born keiki.
14. When you can enter to win a free, 7-day, all expenses paid, VIP, luxury vacation for two to……………………………………………………………..Hawaii.
15. It can be off the air everywhere else, but here every week is “Shark Week”.
16. When you have to call Leavitt, Yamane & Soldner for something…
17. There’s no civilized way to eat a malasada… …or a coco puff. – Don’t even try. It’s physically and emotionally impossible!
18. Anyone dressed in head-to-toe Jeans Warehouse. – This isn’t just a problem. It’s a fashion emergency!
19. The name of this product: BotoLift. – So, wait, wait, wait, wait… You put this where?!?!
20. When one of these melts in your pocket (white rabbit candy).
21. That one Nicki Minaj verse. Because you can’t be “in the islands of Waikiki,” Nicki.
22. Your throat will start tightening up and you’ll begin salivating in 3, 2, 1… (lihing mui)
23. These stairs are safe, right? (stairway to heaven)
24. That Google Maps doesn’t have an “Avoid Potholes” option. – Because sometimes there’s a road in our potholes.
25. Your favorite band will NEVER tour here. Ever. – Just accept it.
26. When Obama won the presidency, you had to force yourself to be happy for someone from Punahou for the first time ever. – It was a struggle.
27. You’re not sure who to trust: Dan Cooke or Guy Hagi? – Not that it really matters… It’s not like the weather ever really changes anyway.
28. This thing called “Hawaiian” pizza. – Are we still calling it that? Okay, just checking…
29. You’ve gotten into serious debates over which Zippy’s is the best Zippy’s. – Foolproof BFF Test: If they don’t know your Zippy’s order by heart, then they are NOT your BFF. No exceptions!
30. Your legit ID always gets a harder look on the mainland. – Mahalo, “Superbad”.
31. This question on Yahoo! Answers (Do they have Internet in Hawaii?). And let’s not forget the classics like, “Do you still live in grass shacks?” and “What about electricity?” FUN FACT: ‘Iolani Palace had electricity and telephones before the White House did! Also, yes, you can use U.S. currency here, and no, you don’t need your U.S. passport and power adaptors when you visit.
32. When someone uses “Hawaiian” the same way they’d use “Californian” or “New Yorker”. – Yeah, that’s not going to work… BECAUSE HAWAIIAN IS A RACE.
33. When someone corrects the way you pronounce “karaoke” and “karate”. – Sigh, we’re just saying it right.
34. Or you’re told you pronounce “Hawai`i” funny. – Again, not “funny,” just right. We live here. WE WOULD KNOW.
35. But wait, honestly, though – do we really have an accent? – Apparently we do say some words like “button” and “candy” kind of weird or something?
36. Even though they don’t have laces, leaving anybody’s house is going to take an extra minute. – And for the last time…
37. THEY’RE CALLED SLIPPERS.
38. However, the biggest problem is taking it all for granted because… Lucky We Live Hawaii! Chee hoo!

Got any to add? Post it in the comment area below. Here’s mine to start:

* Your idea of an Aloha shirt is much different than mine!

K, what say you?

SHOP.VH07V.COM

=============================================================

VH07V FB (“Like” VH07V!)

Facebook (Add me! 😛 )

Twitter (Follow me!)

Blog (Random stuffs)

=============================================================

Visit the Hawaii Self Storage Facebook Page!

Hawaii Self Storage Page!

Advertisement

Koko Head Crater Trail Hike – Nature’s Stairmaster

A sudden increase in the amount of Koko Head trail “tweets” and “status updates” lately prompted me to rearrange the sched – just a tad – and dig up some old images to pen this article. Who knows? After I’m pau, maybe I can jump on the ol’ bandwagon and send out a sweet tweet myself.

Back in April, Mark and Noele (friends of wifey and I), wanted to do something outdoorsy. An easy hike perhaps. Growing up in Hawaii Kai, I suggested the Koko Head Crater trail hike (pu’u ma’i), figuring stairs and a straight path shouldn’t be too bad for the three out-of-towners. Right? 😛

At first glance, the beginning of the trail is a bit tricky to find. You have to make your way through a hidden, mini trail behind the left field fence of the Mustang/Pony league baseball field.

Path to the trail head starts behind the baseball fields

Walking up towards the Koko Head Crater trail head

That eventually leads to a paved road, which is the end of Koko Head Park Road, I believe.

Noele and Mark, the happy couple, on the way to the Koko Head Crater trailhead

Follow that, and you’ll get to the grassy portion that leads to the trailhead…

Still with lots of energy

… which leads to the beginning of the infamous Koko Head “steps”…

They have no idea what’s ahead of them *grin*

Posers

Do you think they got their tickets for the gun show?

Believe me, this energy will not last. There are approximately 1,100 “steps” on the trail so before long, the four of us will be sporting very different looks on our faces…

The “steps” are actually part of an abandoned railroad track that was once used by the military to transport supplies to a lookout shelter at the top.

“Steps” on Koko Head Trail hike

Continuing a bit more, the energy will drain, but you’ll start to get a good view of your surroundings…

Noele drained, Mark still ok, and wifey somewhere in between.

Looking southeast, the shooting range that caused the controversial closing of this trail comes into sight.

Koko Head Shooting Complex

To the Northwest, you’ll see the beauty that is Hawaii Kai. 🙂

View of Hawaii Kai

Continuing on, yet more energy is expended, but you’ll find solace in knowing that you’re about halfway there.

Noele resting, Mark losing it, and a peace sign from yours truly

The view looking back

How do we know we’re about halfway? The dreaded bridge. Dun-dun DUN!

Bridge-like portion of the Koko Head Trail Hike

Yup yup, that’s no illusion. The bottom drops out from under the “steps” and forms a bridge-like path in the middle of the trail.

Some sure-footed hikers choose to walk over it, while others (of the fraidy cat kind) opt to crawl.

Me making fun of wifey

Noele taking the safer route next to Mark

Ed’s Tip: For those who’d like to avoid the bridge altogether, there is actually a makeshift path that goes around the bridge to the right (left on the way down).

Once you conquer the bridge (dun-dun DUN!), it’s much of the same, but steeper.

View from about 3/4 of the way up…

When you’re up this high, your views to the left and right change quite a bit.

The Koko Head Shooting complex is now just a mere speck.

Your view of Hawaii Kai is partially obstructed by shrubbery.

One final look behind…

Looking down at about the 85% mark on Koko Head trail

… and ahead…

I see the light!

… tell us that we’re almost there!

Time to make one final push to the summit! You can dooooo eeeet!

The gang gets reenergized after catching a glimpse of the summit.

Alas, the graffiti art of Sergeant “Mok” greets us as we take our final step.

Artwork at the top of Koko Head trail – A welcome sight

With several shaded areas here, this would be a good opportunity to get out of the sun and catch your breath, drink some fluids or hurl up your breakfast. I won’t name any names. *grin*

Good place to catch your breath in the shade

Ed’s Tip: don’t be fooled into thinking that that was “it”… Once you catch your breath, follow the somewhat hidden trail that wraps around to the right to discover an immaculate view of the other side of Koko Head. What a beautiful sight from about 1208 feet above sea level!

View from the top of Koko Head

View from the top of Koko Head, overlooking part of Sandy Beach and the Hawaii Kai Golf Course.

Ed’s Tip: As the winds are very strong up here, it’s a nice place to cool off, but watch your footing and be careful at the same time.

Here, you’ll also find an abandoned military shelter, which makes for a great place to rest…

Mark, Noele and wifey taking a snack break next to the shelter

… as well as take a group photo from on top of.

Group photo from atop the shelter. Yes, it’s either REALLY bright or we all need a tan. We’ll just say it’s really bright! 😉

Going down is a breeze. Depending on the step and the length of your leg (and your knees and your athleticism 😛 ), you could literally jog/run down the stairs.

Wifey, Noele and Mark playing it safe

Ed’s Tip: I would recommend leaning on the side of caution and taking a nice, leisure pace. Sure, you’re excited to be pau and want to get going sooner than later, but if you run down the stairs, your momentum will really take you and it becomes difficult to stop.

Before long, we’re already at the halfway point of the bridge (dun-dun-DUN!). The ladies decided to “cheat” and take the side path. 8)

The side path around the bridge

Mark shows us how we manly men roll.

Mark coming down over the bridge on the Koko Head trail

Several hundred, quick steps later…

Almost at the bottom!

… we approach the end.

Mark celebrates with his Heisman pose

Back on solid ground, we find a shady area to catch our breath again.

Noele, myself and wifey catching our breath (and blowing our noses) at the bottom of Koko Head trail

Some deal with it better than others…

Mark and Noele wondering what the heck just happened

Once recovered, we did what any other akamai local does after a workout to refresh: Shave Ice! Good thing Kokonuts Shave Ice & Snacks (the one that Barack Obama made famous) is at nearby Koko Marina Shopping Center.

Kokonuts Shave Ice & Snacks sign

Best buds Noele and wifey are all smiles in anticipation of their shave ice.

Mark and Noele literally attacking their shave ice

My work of art before it got destroyed

“What a refreshing way to end our day of stairwell hell!”

If you didn’t notice, that right there, was a sweet tweet. 8)

Fun Day Monday: Bill or Barack?

I know, I know, this one’s kinda old news, but it was recently forwarded to me again and it’s priceless! Hopefully there are some of you out there who are seeing this for the first time. It’s friggen hilarious! Poor poor Billy boy! 😦

Thankfully, this never happened to me, but I did kiss hair instead of a cheek before.*blush*

My friend Grant once said he doesn’t like to kiss anyone after me because it’ll be like he’s kissing me indirectly. LOL!

The absolute worst is when you see somebody waving at you and you wave back, only to realize that they were waving to the people behind you!!! I hate that! Grrrrr!

Talk to me!
* Did this “diss” ever happen to you?
* What’s the worst “diss” ever?
* Can you think of any other kissing mishaps?
* Got a fun week in store? Share, share!
* Who you takin’ in the World Baseball Championships today? J-Town or K-Town?

Happy Fun Day Monday y’all!

News Day Tuesday: January 20, 2009

Lots goin’ on in the world out dea folks.

We can talk about the obvious, like Bruddah Barack’s historic inauguration today (congrats Barack!), but we all know errbody and their mama will be talking about that up in hurr.

Lessee, we can gossip about American Idol, which will air its 3rd and 4th shows of the season today and tomorrow… but things won’t start gettin’ juicy until they go to Hollywood.

Or how about Tadd Fujikawa’s amazing Sony Open story? How he not only made the cut, but hung with the big boys and finished tied for 32nd!

We can even go old school and chit chat about MMA again. Affliction’s 2nd show, entitled “Day of Reckoning,” pits MMA deity Fedor Emelianenko against hard hitting, former UFC heavyweight champ Andrei Arlovski this weekend.

Or what about Super Bowl talks, now that the two unlikely teams – The Arizona Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Steelers – have been decided?

But why pick just one? It’s News Day Tuesday aftah all! How bout’ you decide which topic you wanna talk about and have at it. You can even pick your own newsworthy topic (not mentioned here) and gossip away. Holla! 🙂

I’ll start… and yeah, since I brought um all up, I’ll talk about um all.

* Barack Obama Inauguration

It’s gonna be another busy day at work, but I’ll try to sneak a peek every once in a while to catch history in the making. I’ll also be recording it at home. Doesn’t hurt that bruddah has ties to Hawaii and we claim him as our own. 🙂

* American Idol, Season 8

I used to be an avid fan, but the bad auditions are starting to get to me. I almost just want them to get to Hollywood already and get on with the show with the good singers. It’s been good to see many cultures and backgrounds getting through so far. Hopefully the diversity continues…

* Tadd Fujikawa at the Sony Open

I was there in 07 when Tadd burst onto the scene so it’s nice to see that he’s still holding it down. Bruddah’s not a one hit wonder. He’s in it to win it baby and ya just gotsta admire that! Goooo Tadd!

* Affliction Day or Reckoning

Top to bottom, this is yet another insane card, but for some reason, I’m not sure I have the urge to order it. Their first card was lukewarm for me, so I’m just afraid it will be the same. Ah, we’ll see. Really interested to see: Fedor vs. Arlovski (obviously!), Barnett vs. Yvel, Horodecki vs. Lauzon, Baby Fedor (Sidellnikov), Matyushenko, and Bao Quach.

* Super Bowl XLIII: Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Arizona Cardinals

Talk about a snoozefest. Nah, I guess the Warner story is a good one, but I wish the teams were a little more exciting. I’ll be in Vegas that weekend, but will probably go snowboarding instead of watching the game. *yawn* If I had to pick one, I’d go with ‘Zona.

Survey Thursday – Who Are You Voting for?

* Who you goin vote for for President?

[What da heck is Survey Thursday?]

---

Now before you get all nuts, I do realize that politics is a touchy and personal subject for us all, so don’t feel obligated to voice your opinion here. I expect to either get very few responses or a record amount for WWE readers (which isn’t very much anyway! 😛 ).I was originally just going to post this amusing video a friend sent me (see link below) for today’s blog, but since it’s Survey Thursday, we might as well keep with tradition right? 🙂

“Obama’s Loss Traced To Ed Sugimoto”
(customized video)

Isn’t that video just the most hilarious thing ever? (The old lady cracked me up!) Amazing what technology can do nowadays… You can customize it yourself here.

And yes, I know it’s shmall kine propaganda aimed at getting us to vote for Obama, but the real reason why I posted this for you guys is the underlying message… Just Vote! At next week Tuesday’s General Election, don’t leave it to chance! Whoever you support, just vote, vote, VOTE!

This is Edward Sugimoto and I approve this message. 😛

---

Last Week’s Results (Favorite Newscaster)

• Minna Sugimoto: 6 (DA WINNAH!)
• Rob Demello: 4
• Shawn Ching 3
• Stephanie Lum: 2
• Steve Uyehara: 2
• Trini Kaopuiki: 2
• Kanoa Leahey: 2
• Malika Dudley: 2
• Tanya Joaquin
• Keahi Tucker
• Jade Moon
• Dick Allgire
• Marisa Yamane
• John Veneri
• Robert Kekaula
• Emily Chang
• Kristine Uyeno

P.S. PHILLIES BABYYYYYYYYY! 😉

Boston, Bodies, and Barack Obama

There’s been some interesting “B” words in the news as of late. Boston, as in the Boston Celtics… Bodies, like the one in the Bodies Exhibition going on at Ala Moana… and Barack Obama, because, well, he’s always in the news and frankly, I needed a 3rd “B” sounding word to round out my catchy title. 😛 (Note: I was this close to using “Babalu” Sobral instead of Barack, but didn’t think his name had quite the same star power. *grin*)

And since you obviously read this blog to catch up with all of the quality, cutting edge reports going on in the world, I didn’t want to let you down. I’m here to deliver. Word.

So hurr we go son!

Boston
Yesterday afternoon, the Boston Celtics handed Kobe and crew a 131-92 beating to take the 2007-2008 NBA Championships. I was happy to see vets Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett not only bring one back to Beantown for the 17th time, but also validate themselves as players with their very first title. Congrats Celts!

Bodies… The Exhibition
On Saturday, a controversial exhibit that put human cadavers on display opened at Ala Moana Center. Controversy came when it was reported that they may be the remains of executed Chinese prisoners. Regardless whether they were or not, the exhibition has been cleared to start and will be on display through January 18th of next year. Admission is around $26.

Barack Obama
In a recent CNN poll, Barack Obama is shown leading John McCain 47%-43% (presumptive nominees). Awwwwright!

——

[Extra special kine bonus]

Renato “Babalu” Sobral

Recently signed with Affliction MMA, he will be fighting on their “Affliction: Banned” Pay-Per-View Card on July 19 against Mike Whitehead. The same stacked (and I mean STACKED) card that will feature Fedor vs. Sylvia, Barnett vs. Rizzo, Rothwell vs. Arlovski and Lindland vs. Negao.

Talk to me!
* Happy with Boston’s victory?
* Are you interested in checking out the Bodies exhibition?
* Barack or McCain?
* Excited for the Affliction: Banned event?

Obama-Rama

Now I know politics is a touchy subject for many so I’ll tread softly on this one. And besides that, you’re probably thinking “What is this mma jokester doing talking about something he barely knows anything about.”

Good point.

Alls I know is that one of Hawaii’s own, Barack Obama made history yesterday when he became the first African-American to head a ticket of a major political party, after beating out the favored Senator Hillary Clinton. And you know what, I’m proud of dat!

Obama, as most of you know, was born right here in Hawaii. He is a 1979 graduate of Punahou School and still has family here in the islands. Beyond that, I admittedly don’t know much more about him other than the factual stuff most people already know (Harvard Law School graduate, married to Michelle, two daughters, Illinois Senator, has a MySpace, etc. You know, the important stuff. 😛 ).

What I do know is that he has that Presidential air about him. That confidence, that natural leadership, that something that you can’t quite put your finger on, but you know you like and want in a future leader. You know, that “je ne sais quoi.” Bill Clinton to me, also had that vibe (not sure if that’s a good comparison or bad… hehe!). There’s also a general “cool” or “it” factor in him that I’m sure many of us find intriguing as well.

OK, I’ll stop it there before it gets too political up in hurr. I’m just a regular dude making observations yo.

---

In other news, former BYU and Philadelphia Eagles’ standout kick returner Vai Sikahema (incidentally married to a Kahuku woman) accepted former MLB player Jose Canseco’s $5,000 celebrity boxing challenge, which will take place on July 12th in Atlantic City. Apparently, Jose has been running his mouth about how much experience he has in martial arts and that a boxer cannot beat him. Vai is at an obvious size disadvantage, but was a former Golden Gloves competitor.

Talk to me!
* Obama or McCain?
* What do you think of Hillary Clinton as a possible choice for Vice President?
* Who do you think will win in the boxing matchup between Jose Canseco or Vai Sikahema (they will be using head gear and 14 oz. gloves)?
* Would you even be interested in watching it?
* Jose Canseco is apparently getting into MMA as well. Do you think he’ll do well, or is he just a circus act?