Thought this one was pretty funny… And for those of you who were thinking of scoldin’ me for postin’ this, it was forwarded to me by wifey, so there! 😛
Enjoy gang. Hope y’all have a Happy Fun Day Monday! Even though my Phillies are in deep (DEEP!) trouble, I still wish you a good one! 😉 Nah, nah! Have a great week yo!
NOTE: D’oh! Was just told that sistah Shauna already posted this one so I’ve moved it to the bottom (for those who still want a giggle) and am now giving you new, bonus kine action up top! 😉 Enjoy!
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED
Men Are Just Happier People What do you expect from such simple creatures?
* Your last name stays put.
* The garage is all yours.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* Chocolate is just another snack.
* You can never be pregnant.
* You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
* You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
* Car mechanics tell you the truth.
* The world is your urinal…
* You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky..
* You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
* Same work, more pay.
* Wrinkles add character.
* Wedding dress: $5000. Tux rental: $100.
* People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
* New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet..
* One mood all the time.
* Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat..
* You know stuff about tanks.
* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase..
* You can open all your own jars.
* You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
* Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* You almost never have strap problems in public.
* You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
* Everything on your face stays its original color.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
* You only have to shave your face and neck.
* You can play with toys all your life.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
* You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
* You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
* You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
* You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
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NICKNAMES
- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS
- A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
- The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
- Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
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For a little fun, how about adding your own reason(s) (in the comment area below) why you think Men Are Just Happier People… 8) Here’s mine:
IMAGE
- A woman looks at other women and instantly compares herself to them.
- Men never look at other men. 8) Oh yeah! You like dat one yeah!? 😉
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And please check out my new article: Koko Head Crater Trail Hike – Nature’s Stairmaster.
Koko Head Crater Trail Hike – Nature’s Stairmaster
Shoots!
P.S. Parts of my Shane Victorino interview will be airing on Tiny TV starting tonight at 10:30PM on OC16 (Oceanic Digital Channel 16 or HD Channel 1016). Check it out! 🙂