Archive for the ‘This Is How We Do…’ Category

This Is How We Do: Airplanes

June 16, 2009

Since bruddah ova hea has been travelin’ a bit as of late, I thought that sharing our airplane habits might be a nice widdle topic for our “This Is How We Do…” series. Agree? We go!

* Book Online – one of the benefits of the glorious Interwebs is that you can use it to book your flight, pick your seats, check in, print your boarding passes, etc., all without the headache of doing it in person. I take full advantage of it, especially with the seating. There’s nuthin’ that makes me more antsy/impatient than sitting on a plane waiting to get off. The further up towards da front I can get, da bettah! Less waiting!
* Pack Light – if I can help it, I try not to check anything in. Not only are there extra fees these days, I just like that I can get on and off de plane (de plane) and on my way in a flash. I know, I know… it’s probably easier for us guys than you ladies to pack light cause all we need is one clean underwear and we all G. 8)
* Set It and Forget It – I like to pack my bag in the overhead compartment in the row ahead (in row 11 if I’m in row 12). This way, retrieving it on the way out is easier/quicker and less of a hold up for the peeps behind me.
* iTunes – if it’s a long trip, I needs ta bring my iPod with loaded up tunes. Optionally, I’ll pick up a good magazine or two from the newsstand and may even bring the DS or portable DVD player.
* Sleeping Beauty – I can sleep anywhere at any time. Planes just happen to be one of these places. 8)
* Hurry up and wait – as soon as that bell rings, I unbuckle my seatbelt (my hand is already on it beforehand) and stand up in the aisle (if I’m in the aisle seat). I’d rather stand up and wait for the doors to open than be seated.
* Holla! – during the wait-for-the-door-to-open period, I turn my phone on. This wait is a good time to make calls (for a ride), check voicemail/texts, and browse the web.
* Out like trout – like I said before, I don’t like staying in the plane longer than I have to. Once those doors open, I’m itchin’ to get out. I become the fastest walker in the world once out on the Jetway. Why am I in such a rush? I have no idea. LOL!
Sound anywhere close to how you do? Share, share!


This Is How We Do: Haircuts

June 2, 2009

Let’s try our hand at another episode of “This Is How We Do…”

Last time, we shared our stories (good and bad) about our bathroom habits/rituals. Some (ok just me), worse than others. This week, let’s chat about something most of us gotsta do on the regular… chop the ‘do!

I’m easy. No fancy salon for me. Supercuts all the way. Cheap, easy, convenient. The only problem is that I’m like a rich, ugly bachelor. I can’t keep a girl to save my life.

I swear I’ve been through about 10 “stylists” since I’ve started going there years ago. Every single time I think I have a winnah (knows exactly how I like my hair cut), she moves to another location and out of my life forever.

Dear Supercuts, can you please stop transferring your peeps all ova da place. It would be greatly appreciated. Love, Ed.

OK, so I’m not really playing the game. Alright, alright… This is how I do: Haircuts…

* Make da call – I call my local Supercuts and pray to the heavens that the last stylist who cut my hair is still there…
* Rejoice – if she is
* Get Frustrated – if she’s not
* Hurry up and wait – it ain’t no secret. The time of your appointment is often not the time you sit in that high chair. I’ve learned to book earlier than I arrive or just expect to wait later than my scheduled time.
* Explicame por favor – for once, I’d like to say just sit down and say “gimme the usual,” but with their high turnover rate, I always have to explain what I want. It doesn’t help that my hairstyle has changed many times over the years and I’m never sure what I’m going to request each time. LOL!
* Product placement – I try to find the cleanest part on their counter to place my shades and Aloha Shirt (if I come straight from work). If not, I just hold um with me.
* Sit and pray – since it’s usually a new stylist, I just sit and pray and hope that she can get relatively close to what I’m axeing for.
* Shut the peepers – sometimes, to avoid the awkward face-to-face stares (this also works at the dentist’s office), I will close my eyes when she snips the front of my dome. Sharp things moving around my eyes is but another reason I shut the blinds.
* Make Me Thin – I have a tricky spot on the top left side of my noggin’ that is thicker than the right side. Most times, I have to request the stylist to thin this portion out even more so that both sides look even.
* Shake, rattle and roll – since I wanna minimize the amount of hair that falls in my car and at home, I try to shake my hair/head/clothes to get as much hair off of me as possible.
* Walk of shame – well, only if it’s a bad haircut. 😛 If it’s a good haircut, the walk to the register is not all that bad.
* Tips welcome – I pay for the cut and then I give the stylist my usual 20%. Sometimes more, or sometimes less, depending on the damage or masterpiece they’ve created. 🙂
That’s pretty much it. Where do you guys get your hair cut? What kine cut you get? How much do you pay? Any other odd rituals?

Most importantly however… how do YOU do?

P.S. Kimbo’s joining the cast of The Ultimate Fighter. Woah!

This Is How We Do: Bathrooms

May 19, 2009

On my never-ending quest to entertain  y’all, I’m introducing another little game up in hurr. It’s called “This Is How We Do”… and the idea is pretty much how it sounds. I choose a topic and we all share our unique stories of how we “do” (it).

Since bat’chrooms seemed to be a popular topic a few weeks ago, let’s go with that theme for today. I know… quality journalism right? 😉

Honestly, I think I’m a closet germaphobe. A Monk-in-the-making, if you will. I try – at all costs – to avoid touching door handles or rails or other common places people put their grubby paws on. Bathrooms practically give me a complex because not only do these germ infested peeps touch places I may also have to touch, but they do so with #1 or #2 infested paws. Ack!

So I seriously have a ritual I go through in order to make it halfway bearable up in thurr. I have it down to a science… fo real!

So without further ado… This Is How I Do: Bathrooms…

* Push door open with fist, elbow or foot – the outside of the door is not too bad as the people going in would be relatively clean (you would think).
* If it’s #1, aim for the puddle less traveled – the less splash the better, so I avoid the puddles at the bottom of the receptacle. I even opt to aim down the sides of the receptacle. The thinking is that not too many people do that (they usually aim straight forward) so it could possibly still be clean if a splash were to freakishly return to sender.
* If #2, push stall door open with fist, elbow or foot and close/lock with TP – the stall’s lock is probably the grossest thing in the whole joint. Since there is no sink between toiletsville and the lock, you can be sure that that thang is growing some things you don’t wanna write home to mama about.
* Do a spot check – before I take my throne,  I make sure that there are ample toilet seat covers and backup TP to take care of bidness. I also check to see what goodies the previous owner left for me. If there is indeed a present left behind, I move to the next stall. Repeat until empty/clean toilet found. In case of emergency, flush 4-5 times before using.
* Wipe seat – using a big wad of TP, I wipe down the seat and flush that puppy down the tubes.
* Wipe seat again – with a bigger TP wad, I wipe the seat down again (to clean the splashes) and place it in the center of the water. This wad will help “cushion” the fall to avoid splash-ups to your crown jewels. LOL! I can’t believe we’re talking about this! Sorry!
* Use toilet seat cover – these are golden. In case of emergency, laying down rolls of TP on the seat works just as well. Be careful not to set off the auto flush while working your magic or you have to start all ovah again. *groan*
* Kick seat cover in with foot and flush with extra TP or foot – when I finish dropping off the kids, I kick the toilet seat cover in the bowl with my foot and cross my fingers that the auto-flush works. If it doesn’t, an extra wad of TP or my foot work equally well to handle the manual flush action.
* Open lock and door with TP – if you can’t already tell, TP, for me, is money. I use it for everything.
* Pump paper tower dispenser and tuck under arm – sometimes you’ll get those old school paper towel dispensers that you need to manually pump. TP to the rescue! Otherwise, do this first (get your paper towel) and then wash your hands. You don’t want to be touching that handle with clean hands.
* Wash hands like mad with soap and wipe with paper towel – this goes without saying.
* Use wet/used paper towel (or dispense new one) to open bathroom door to get the hell outta dea, using feet as much as possible – I actually get annoyed now when public restrooms don’t have a trash can right next to the exit/door. Don’t they know!?!? 😛

So that’s my ritual. A little neurotic or not anal enough? *giggle* Whatchu tink?

So how about it? Bathrooms… How do you do?