Needles and I Just Don’t Get Along

So last week Thursday I got my flu shot. With the big dance and honeymoon quickly approaching, I was mandated by the woman to get one so I wouldn’t get sick during critical times. I don’t normally believe in flu shots (my manly toughness is defense enough! 😛 ), but logically, I guess it makes sense to play it safe.

Getting  poked by a needle for the second time in a few months, made me remember (and giggle a bit) about the last encounter, and I thought I’d share…

Several months ago, the blood bank peeps came to our office for donations. I’ve never given before because, well, look at this blog title! Haha! This time, I told myself to stop being selfish and man up and just geev um! My blood will save three lives for Pete’s sake! So I did…

I don’t think it’s that I’m afraid of needles. Please, what real man is? 😛 I just don’t like the idea of volunteering to have sharp things pierce my temple body. No ear/nose/lip/tongue/belly rings, no acupuncture, and no tattoos for yo boy! I’ve always been concerned about hygiene as well. Needles and blood is something you just don’t mess with, naw-mean!?

Getting back to the story… I filled out the necessary paperwork and proceeded to go into a small room to get interviewed by one of the nurses. It was supposed to be a serious moment, but I couldn’t help but snicker at some of her questions.

“Have you ever had sex with another man?”
– *shocked snicker* “No!”

“Have you ever been paid for sex?”
– *louder snicker* (*thinking in head* “I wish”) “No.”

She didn’t flinch. Guess she’s heard this laughter from others before me.

Then it was off to get poked.

They put me on this cold, hospital-like mini bed. Uncomfortable as it was, I knew it was for a good cause so I just sat there with a goofy smile.

My veins are large and in charge so finding the lifeline is not an issue. They cleaned my arm with alcohol and proceeded to jab that ICEE straw sized needle in my jugular. OK, maybe it wasn’t ICEE straw sized, but it was definitely Capri Sun straw sized, son!

My curiosity got the best of me and I made the critical mistake of watching them insert that thang into my poor, defenseless arm. Usually, when I get shots or have blood drawn, I look at everything except my arm. The ground, the fluorescent lights above, the nurse. Anything. There’s just something psychological about seeing dat buggah go in, yeah?

So as the Capri Sun straw continued to suck the life from me, I sat there and wondered how much longer it was going to be. The world started spinning and everything became blurry, while my body started to sweat profusely. I got pissed off at myself for being such a pansy so I mentally challenged myself to stick it out like a man.

The nurse, who probably noticed me trying to focus in asked if I was ok. After one gulp, I said “Yup!”

Finally, things started to clear up and the now cold sweat on my back actually felt good. Haha! I “came back to” so to speak and was perfectly fine. The mental challenge worked! Oh yeah! Too bad, we were only half way through the bag! D’oh!

After what seemed like hours, that 20 gallon bag was finally full of my red river and we were done.

The other nurse came by and asked if I was ok (I guess the color wasn’t back in my face yet). I said “Yeah, but earlier, was kinda iffy. Heh!”

She said “You’re such a guy!” I took it as a compliment and said “Thanks!” 😛

There was no way I was losing to a stupid tube. The competition was on, and I won yo! Wassup!?

(If there ever is a) Next time, I will make sure that I eat breakfast AND lunch before going in. And I probably shouldn’t watch them jab it in me. I will also wear a short sleeve shirt (less sweat) and mentally prepare hours beforehand (this was a spontaneous visit). Sticking to that strategy should give me the best odds!

C’mon! I can’t be the only wussy out there when it comes to needles. Somebody please empathize with me! Hahaha! Shoots!

Talk to me!
* Do you like needles or despise them?
* What is your secret/ritual when getting poked? Do you watch them put it in?
* Do you get the flu shot regularly?
* Do you believe flu shots work?
* Are you a regular blood giver? Why or why not?

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