FANTASY FOOTBALL RIDICULOUS-NESS!

So I just replied to JO’s comment, complaining about my bunch of goons and also saw Kelv’s hilarious blog, so I thought I’d write my own to complain/vent. Be prepared to laugh your @$$e$ off…So I came into the season with great optimism and joy. As the returning champ, I figured I at least had as much of a shot to win it all than anyone. This year, there are three chances to win: 1) Regular Season Champ, 2) Playoff Champ and 3) Total Points, none of which I have a flying chance for now. We also implemented a now deemed lame 2 QB scoring system. I personally say “now deemed lame” because at the beginning of the season it seemed like a good idea. You know, something different. But now that I’m like on my 5th QB from the wonderful gem pool of the waiver wire, it stinks!

Playing Fantasy Football with the boys is our annual tradition. One of those things you can look forward to every year. It gives you a chance to bond with fellas you don’t normally talk to on a daily basis and trash talk your brains out. I used to be pretty good at it, but frankly, with the way my guys are dropping like flies this year, I don’t think I can really talk all that much…. YET! Check out my drafted players and the status for each of them:

  1. Deuce (Out for year)
  2. Bulger (Out – shoulder)
  3. Ahman (Out for year)
  4. TO (Traded) – for Daunte (now out for year)
  5. Taylor (Hobbled – ankle)
  6. Horn (Out – hammy)
  7. Warner (Out – groin)
  8. Coles (Waived)
  9. Henry (Suspended)
  10. New England (Waived)
  11. Mewelde
  12. Stephen Davis (Traded) – for Portis (Hobbled – leg)
  13. A Smith (Waived, then picked up because of stupid Deuce)
  14. Urlacher
  15. Boller (Out – Toe… waived)
  16. Madieu (Out – now possibly out for the year… waived)
  17. Chris Perry (waived, then picked up… still a backup)
  18. Fason (Waived)
  19. Bubba (Out… Waived)
  20. Longwell (Waived)

So my Frankenstein lineup (created mostly from the waiver wire) now looks like this:

QB D. Culpepper (knee)
QB B. Volek (concussion)
WR A. Bryant (streaky)
WR A Hakim (temporary Horn replacement)
RB C. Portis (calf and often scoreless)
RB F Taylor (ankle)
TE J. Wiggins (waiver pickup)
W/R M. Moore
W/R A. Smith (stupid Deuce replacement)
W/R M. Shipp
K –empty–
DEF Tampa Bay
D B. Urlacher
DB –empty–
BN C. Perry (backup)
BN J. Horn (hammy)
BN M. Bulger (shoulder)
BN T. Henry (suspension)
BN A. Chatman (recent waiver pickup)
BN F. Gore (Getting desperate aren’t I?)

From my originally drafted team, I’m only using 5 of them this week (Ahman, Mewelde, Antowain Smith, Chris Perry and Urlacher), two of whom I once waived and nobody claimed. *sigh* STOP LAUGHING! It’s not funny!

Well, I guess I can look on the bright side. Even with this wretched lineup, I’m still only in 3rd place and we’re only about at the half season mark. Some of my guys will hopefully be healed from their injuries and I can potentially compete when they come back and I’m back to full strength. Wish me luck. I’m also in first place for my work league with a little better luck with guys staying healthy and performing up to par. See, there’s always a silver lining…

To bore you guys even further, here’s my slightly better lineup for work… Enjoy!

QB Drew Bledsoe, DAL
RB Shaun Alexander, SEA
WR Joe Horn, NOR
TE Todd Heap, BAL
RB Jamal Lewis, BAL
RB Steven Jackson, STL
K Rian Lindell, BUF
DEF Tampa Bay
BN Kerry Collins, OAK
BN Kurt Warner, ARI
BN Chris Simms, TAM
BN Jeff Garcia, DET
BN Corey Dillon, NWE
BN Ronnie Brown, MIA
BN Ricky Williams, MIA
BN Antowain Smith, NOR
BN Chris Perry, CIN
BN Travis Henry, TEN
BN Donte Stallworth, NOR
BN Bobby Engram, SEA
BN Donald Driver, GNB
BN Keenan McCardell, SDG
BN Braylon Edwards, CLE
BN Laverneus Coles, NYJ
BN Jerramy Stevens, SEA
BN Ben Troupe, TEN
BN Nate Kaeding, SDG
BN Rob Bironas, TEN
BN Washington
BN Arizona

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